Wednesday, October 31, 2007

yes, it was good for a Wednesday

Blogging per request of Jade.

So yesterday was Halloween---which in our place means trick or treat, and some get-togethers. This year, I invited some blockmates to come over. Trisha, Minseun, Jade, and Justine were the only ones able to make it.

After Psystat class, I went for lunch with Trisha, Justine, and Mac at Dondon's (in the EGI), and satisfied my gyudon craving. From there, it was mainly meeting up with random people (Janine, Ria, Min, Anna, Anne, Nica, Rory, Diego, Jay, and even Justine's friend Al), till we met up with Jade again, and Minseun finished POPS orchestra practice. All the way to Makati (stuck in traffic), we were irreverently joking about well, school matters. Basag talaga.

After dropping off stuff at my house and saying hi to my sister and Ica, we went off to Rockwell. From there, it was straight on to Fully Booked to browse through stuff in hopes of finding things on sale. Then we went windowshopping, looking at clothes that we didn't really intend to buy at the moment. Then we had merienda grande in the foodcourt: coffee, egg tart, pastry, and sausages with cheese/onions/bacon. That's the biggest merienda I've had in some years.

Back in the village, there were so many kids going around for trick-or-treat. We said hi to Carlo (he's my neighbor two houses up), and went around the village taking pictures and looking at the Halloween decor. (See Jade's multiply here for the pics).

Dinner at home with family and friends: trying to watch "The Fog" while eating more again: spaghetti, inihaw of all kinds, seaweed, balut, cake, and lots of chocolate while telling insane college stories to amuse Clarisse and her friends. Then I tried to let everyone listen to some music selections (in hopes of finding ideas for our TREDONE presentation), but in the end, we ended up listening to all the gag songs in the music library of the computer. So much fun though.

Sad though that not everyone could sleepover. Sad that not everyone who I invited could make it. But hey, it was still quite a blast! Christmas party naman soon... 

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Lux et Lingua

The stardust swirling in our eyes

The absinthe loosening our tongues

The visions of dawn peeking through

Contained in a penstroke

one of my favorite poems (dated last year also)

Consider Music

The drumbeats of the past echo fainter
Anxious to mingle with a new melody
A burst of song that originated in one land
A single blast of horns in the wood
Resonated all through the world
From a city, to another, in awful majesty
The forces proclaiming a new reality...

...only to quiet down into a murmur...

Consider the melody of where I am
It is a suffering love song of a woman in pain
Of a man yearning for a lost love
It pines, pines...and pines again
And sometimes it is an aria of dawn
A promise of something better
However, it dies once again...

...into the same bitter yearnings...

Consider the discordant tunes far away
Of too many voices and instruments playing
Each in its own babble, lovely disharmony
Oh how well celebrated, and how duly scorned
One seeks to cancel out the other
One note rising to overpower the rest
And the song rips itself apart...

Consider the sheet of theories
That hold much promise in the ink
That seek for one to take them in hand
And then breathe in the life
Oh how maligned is the thought and pen
There is nothing wrong in the framework
Save when it or the substance is twisted...

...into the grotesque jangling of chords...

Consider the screams of those awaiting
In their raw, anguished yearning
Each appalling song is something to be learned
And a cry to be addressed
If someone could uplift them from their confusion
And show them a proper place in the firmament
And give their passion the guiding hand...

...what music could this world play?
...what times could we await?
...what dawn could we look for?

Saturday, October 27, 2007

things that cheese, coffee, and chocolate can't cure

Right now, I don't really want to go on YM, but I do long for company. I would just love to find someone to talk to over coffee with. Never mind if it's just the Nescafe from the counter.

I am at a loss as to my helping write part of the CWTS project proposal. Right, it's probably nothing compared to my sis' research paper, my friends' theses, and even memorizing muscles for zoology, but technical writing is still difficult.

I'm not completely sure if I'll be gone on the 10th (right now, chances are 50-50), but either way, it's going to be 'damned if I do, damned if I don't.' Damned if I go: I miss classes, I might not be able to handle writer's critiques, and who knows what else can happen in a Malate Writer's Workshop. Damned if I stay in Manila: there's always Zoology, having to give a presentation in CWTS, and the other everyday hazards of being a college student in DLSU.

Remind me: I have to buy a magic slate before we go back to Brgy. Banaba.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Impolite (dated earlier this year)

Couldn't you have entered in quietly?
I swear, I never invited you in.
I was just puttering in the library
And you followed me right home
And dragged several friends with you

In my sleep, you all call to me
I never have a night's sleep of peace
"I'm seventeen!" I cry to you to leave
But you won't, since you know the truth
I was like all of you once...

"Whatever happened to eagle's wings
And defying the groping arms of night?"
I stand my ground, I have things to do.
"Leave me to my lonely soul, my cocoon.
One day, I'll come, I'll come to you,"

But the last blow to my glass bubble comes
In the form of black and white
Unforgiving papers on my doorstep
Oh why does everything hit so close
When I most wish to forget?

In the morning your vulgar tauntings
Coax me out of the embrace of sleep.
In the afternoon, I hear all your shouting
Telling me why I should move...
Telling me that I'm stuck in miasma.

Ladies and gentlemen leave children to dream
They do not pry into others' businesses
But well, we're all beyond that point
Wretched forms searching, yearning
And I the worst, the least of all.

It is this rudeness I deserve
And that which will save the rest...

Concrete Strip

It is so simple to grant your wish
As we stand at the walls of Eden
Outside looking in
On the paradise so near

To feel the dirt within our shoes
Instead of the concrete without
To run our hands through the grass
To race across the field

I could watch your hands stretch out
As you zoom down a slide
I could hear your pure laughter
Over the creaking chains in the swing

Yet such priceless joy
Is dearly bought
For your small hands
Knowing nothing else but the dust

If I only had the means
To break down the walls
To let you wander the Paradise
That rightfully belongs to you

A place that my friends and I knew
And disregarded so easily
Is now the unattainable jewel
In your shining eyes begging...

...I can only hoist you on my back
As we walk away sadly
Knowing that you can never get there
I can never really return

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

The Spirit of EDSA DOS

I am the spirit of EDSA DOS, waving a tattered banner on the busy streets. For the past six years, the nation has noted my triumph each January. It is a premature celebration, for the struggle is far from done.

 

            I am the daughter of that first revolt that toppled a dictator, and a cousin to every uprising after my emergence. I am the will of a people that is longing for peace on varying terms. I am the betrayed woman who is still banking on a promise that has been broken over and over. I still hang on to the hopes born during those days in front of that sacred shrine draped with banners calling for a president’s resignation. I stand before you now, dear Filipinos, to remind you of the justice you are so slow to realize. I rise before you amid the recent chaos not to give you comfort but to strip you of the languor that stills your limbs and your conscience.

 

I put on trial today as I did six years ago the true culprits of our disillusionment. I accuse the amnesia of the nation that has robbed so many of the will to act for the people’s welfare.

 

I indict the lust for power and fast profit, and their cousin Ignorance, for their blinding of both officials and constituents to the needs and duties of one another.

 

I accuse as well our system of personality politics that uses artificial titles and showbiz popularity as a means of election as opposed to true, informed, and free suffrage.

 

I do not spare as well Indolence, the laziness that expects the fruits of a democratic state to be given to a people that has not been able to undergo the necessary cultivation to fully enjoy and use these rights and duties.

 

These we spoke against under the fluttering banners and slogans during those days and nights on the highway. What did I come into being for, oh Philippines, but to give you a second chance to have a country to be worthy of admiration and pride not just for 2001, but for many years to come? What did I emerge for, but to displace an inept, corrupt power in hopes of ushering forth a new spring in honest governance? And what did I live for, but for a dream that the Filipino people will be united as a whole in the long road towards humane progress instead of being divided from camp to camp, ideology to ideology, religion to religion, or worse, personality to personality?

 

I am the spirit of EDSA DOS, wandering still down the avenue, seeking to stir the memories of the souls who once marched with me. Am I to lie in vain, oh youth of the Philippines, while our country continues to groan under these ancient chains? Am I to become a mere figment like my mother, and be bound to watch my cousins struggle on with various, but mainly futile results? Or am I to hope that as you read this, one more person should remember the denunciation of an obstruction of justice, and see once again with clarity the vision of a people’s will at work for the good?

 

I trust that my rising has not been in vain, and that we will not only stop to remember, but continue on to move.

Political Nerve

Note: This came into my mind sometime during a biology lecture. Being in front row doesn't help.

Political Nerve

 

            There is a strange parallelism between neuroscience and politics. The Filipino political will is a communal nerve that is constantly under irritation. As of late, it has been slow to function, since the disunity of its synapses leads to confusions that must be sorted out for societal, national, and international stability.

 

            There have been several powerful synapses in our country’s history, and countless smaller ones that are often lost in oblivion, but nonetheless important in our daily function. We can see the more prominent synapses in our textbooks: the 1896 Revolution and the EDSA Revolts, and the lives of statesmen, doctors, educators, scientists, artists, athletes and other luminaries who have achieved immortality in written posterity. In the second category are the thoughts, words, votes, and actions of every citizen, the continuous course of Filipino life in the world today. This writer can only associate herself with the latter.

 

            Our political nerve has been irritated into desensitization and submission. Under the constant strain of scandals, crimes, disasters, and the degradations of the Filipino’s dignity and quality of life, it is no surprise that we have grown to ignore the repeated pricking at our political will. Many former firebrands and leaders have already been cooled and jaded, and our youth are in that same state already even before they have begun to rise. The right to suffrage is grudgingly exercised, our citizens evade paying taxes, and we wonder why officials sit in their offices holding duty only at an arm’s length. We have essentially become numb to our country, tossing around the excuses of failure and a feeling of helplessness against ‘unchangeable realities’.

 

            Why then is this desensitized state so dangerous? The role of the nerve is a relay, a conduit for a message to be translated from a receptor to the brain and spinal cord, and back down to the part that must interact with the environment. The nerve carries a message that must be put into action. In this same light, politics can be considered as the conduit for a people’s actions with regard to the times they live in. In allowing ourselves to be lulled, we have contracted the political equivalent of Hansen’s disease.  Despite the downward slope of today’s state of affairs, we hardly move to alleviate suffering, yet we rue over the devastation we see. We allow the various forces of poverty, corruption, globalization, and human and environmental degradation to sicken the rest of our way of life and our wellbeing. In this model, one can only anticipate the eventual collapse of the body, which in this case is the Filipino state and the people.

 

            So what can be done to repair the state of our political nerve? The cure calls for a coordination of the everyday synapses—a leading into the same direction. What is the philosophy of Philippine governance? What is the eventual direction, the ideal of the Filipino? These must be decided immediately. With a goal in mind that shines forth beyond all the turmoil of today, we can begin to revive our numb extremities in hopes of spurring them into action.

 

The second part would be to reform the will of the people. So many times has this been misconstrued in the various uprisings and upheavals our society has experienced, from every election, to the explosion in media and recently, globalization. The will of the people has been cast as ‘mob rule’, or on the other extreme, the monopoly of just a few in power. Too many of us act out of self-interest, or perhaps with a mere lack of awareness of the consequences of our actions on the wider sphere. In as much as the entire nervous system relies on the precise coordination of synapses and neurotransmitters to elicit a proper response from the entire organism, so we must align ourselves and each and every citizen towards a common goal of national unity. No longer must our individual wills and actions be considered as merely for ourselves, for our families, our local governments, or for the sake of a particular idol or personality. So many have talked of national consciousness, but it up to us to claim our part in it, to redeem and educate the ignorant, to enlighten the multitude that comprises this consciousness. This is so that the will of the Filipino may not be just reactive but proactive and constructive in these tumultuous times. 

 

Though not all things can be changed externally, our integrity in the face of the uncontrollable can be maintained from within. How we change or fall in this new millennium is all a matter of will. Our political nerve needs to be woken up, fast, for the simple fact that our circumstances and our people can no longer afford to wait.