the time has come for this again

I'm crossing the line finally between writing and showing up.

Anyway, yesterdays events first: I spent most of the day either studying for the compana test (which is later), or scribbling in my notebook. The only good things I suppose were the free cut and getting to listen to the latter half of Sir Kintanar's lecture on the psychology of love and attachment. And of course, planning today's agenda.

Today: after the compana test, by hook or by crook I will go to the ampitheater to listen and hopefully be enlightened about the current political crisis. I've taken to wearing a green ribbon on my clothes already.

Discussion in the house is so political nowadays. Not that I blame my parents. My father and I got into a debate about the perceptions of the religious with regard to drastic action. My take: when I was a kid, I was told the right thing to do was simply pray. Now I'm older, I think I know better.

Tomorrow: Well, it depends on two things: if I get anything out of listening to Lozada today, and if Erap is going to the rally tomorrow. If that deposed despot shows up at Ayala, I'm taking the first bus home.

ars pulitika

There's a poster outside the Estrella bus stop that goes: TAMA NA! SOBRA NA! WASAKAN NA!

I can only agree partially with that poster. Granted, the first two statements are true. This regime really has gone too far and needs an accounting. But I am not sure whether changing the names of those in power is the solution. If it will just be another round of musical chairs, no thanks.

Am I being a cowardly activist for not taking to the streets today? I kind of wanted to go to the Mass in Baclaran, but my father warning me about the dangers of it being politicized was enough. I want this crusade for just and transparent governance to be free from the politics of personality. However, psychologically I am not sure if that is completely possible.

I think till the day we can learn to stand for principles and not faces and gimmicks, our country needs some form of crutch. It's time for the remaking of the Filipino, my friends.

Memory, all alone in the moonlight.

If you read this journal,
even if I don't speak to you often,
post a memory of me.
It can be anything you want.
It can be good or bad,
just so long as it happened.


Then post this on your journal.
Be surprised and see what people remember about you!

I am not going to grow tired of this

Barangay Banaba again.

Well, the place is growing on me. I know I'm going to miss it come April. Today, it was my group's turn to conduct the environmental awareness seminar. Kudos to Justine and Nina for being so good with getting the kids to listen or to participate in the games. Had some good conversations with different people, my fellow volunteers and my host family alike. I didn't get to run around much today or to work in the reading center. As to the latter, see Jade's multiply. I love the work you guys did there.

Somehow, while reading up on sociology, I find myself stuck on the issue of inequality. The more I delve into theory and my own personal experience, the more I get convinced that there is conflict in our society. The more I get convinced that I would be wasting my time and my degree if I did not do something to help alleviate it.

That's all I want to talk about. The events of yesterday and of Valentine's day are nothing too special for me.

here we go...got this from Kaye

BASTUSAN SURVEY: How will you
seriously answer someone in the
following situations given?

^^What if someone (STRANGER) insults
you or tells you this...

01. ang arte mo!
:: talaga?

02. mas matalino naman ako sayo?
:: I'm not surprised

03. crush ako ng crush mo?
:: Ows?

04. ang bobo mo pala sa math!
::Yes and proud of it

05. bilisan mo naman!
:: Excuse me! Busted leg here

06. ang sungit mo!
:: yes, just now

07. gusto mo ng away?
:: Oh-kay, now what?

08. takot ka ata sakin eh?
:: You wish

09. mas mahal niya ko!
:: Yes, congrats

10. ang bababa naman ng mga grades mo!
:: Try being in MY shoes, salbahe!

cnabi ito sa'yo ng CRUSH mo?

01. crush kita.
:: *blink* You're joking

02. hindi kita mahal.
:: I already knew that

03. mahal na kita.
:: Alternative universe ba ito?

04. pakopya naman ng assignment.
:: No. Get your own homework

05. crush ko ung friend mo.
:: which one?

06. pwedeng patabi sa upuan?
:: Sure, as long as no one's saved it.

07. pwede mo ba akong isayaw?
:: Hahaha...sige, pero good luck sa atin, ha.

08. feeling ko may gusto ka sakin.
:: What gave you that idea?

09. ang cute mong mag-smile.
:: Thanks

10. bakit ang bait mo sakin?
:: Hindi lang ikaw, ano?

^^Eh kapag parents mo nagsabi sa'yo
nito?

01. umuwi ka ng maaga.
:: And why again?

02. magaling ka palang sumayaw.
:: Hahaha...

03. hindi ka na pwedeng pumasok sa
klase.
:: And why?

 

04. bawal ka pang mag
boyfriend/girlfriend.
:: Yes, you know I am wed to my studies.

05. mag aral kang mabuti.
:: Ayt

^^Eh kapag teacher mo nagsabisa'yo
nito?

01. kailangan kong makausap ang
magulang mo.
:: Uh...what about?

02. ang makita kong mangopya mamatay
na!
:: Yes Sir/Ma'am *sabay sulat sa questionnaire*

it's that calm before the storm

I am not sure what I am dreading more: another round of comparative anatomy (lec and lab) or the deluge of pink, red, and roses we're seeing tomorrow.

Anyway, I spent a considerable amount of time today in the YFC tambayan. Much fun there, I swear. Also, swimming class was replaced by a pingpong session. Errr...rather disastrous on my end, actually.

drip dry

I'm running out of ideas: all the good plots have been written, and some of my treatments are becoming trite. Ah well. At least I have my sociopolitical fantasy epic in the works, but I'm lacking good realist plots and characters to bring into life.

Today was an interplay of overspending, bad luck, and comedies of errors. Tomorrow is LEAP. Cool.

new appreciations

Today was strange in the sense that I got to enjoy two things that I do not normally go for: watching Korean miniseries and watching a track and field event.

I was supposed to go swimming today with some of our classmates, but well that couldn't push through. So Minseun and I ended up hanging out at Justine's house before we all met up with my cousins to watch the UAAP track and field. I now have a newfound respect for pole-vaulters, one of my cousins included in that group.

Hopefully one day my little bro can compete in track too. I wish I could be strong enough to do those things, but I suppose that my personal bugaboo leaves me on the sidelines. (flexes her patella back into place).

shamelessly counting my chickens

Am happily dreaming of all my summer trips:

- ILC Tagaytay!!

- Iloilo (hopefully) with some of my blockmates.

- and maybe if my parents' schedules permit, beach trip to Batangas?

Hahaha, I know it's still a long way, but it won't hurt to dream just a little.

in the wrong place

Alright so this is today...

INTSOCI: I am not sure whether cockiness gets respect or kills the cat. Well, at least we got through our report well, but I do wonder whether our teacher is pleased with our general performance.

FILKOMU: What class? We had a free cut today, which I spent eating or hanging out.

ENGLCOM: A discussion on APA format. Sigh. I'm used to writing in MLA, so this is going to be hard.

Sitting in on another class: Minseun invited me to sit in her FILKOMU section because of today's discussion on education. Can I just say, it kind of hit close to home.

PE: I hate breastroke.

I hope that I am just being paranoid and dumb and that some of my fears aren't for real.

taking arms against a sea of troubles

Okay, now that my comparative anatomy test is out of my hands, I have no reason to commit egoistic or fatalistic suicide. Bahala na.

PSYSTA: Woohoo, I actually understand what I'm doing. Was actually surprised I still had the brain for it.

ENGLCOM: Subject of bliss, I swear. We were talking about writing today--and writing is ALWAYS a good thing for me.

COMPANA LECTURE: Actually stayed awake during discussion, partly owing to Ms. Flores' stories, and the topic. I was asking Ms. Flores about the possibility of my getting tapped for future quiz bees. The answer: very low, since I'm a BS-PSYC student. Waahh. No way I'm shifting to COS though.

LAB: Test of hell. Let's not even go there.

After the journal making for PE class, I shall happily slip into my dramatic world of plays and writing.

the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune

A life full of drama: I've watched three shows (one movie and two plays) within a fortnight. And I have enough issues to er, merit a rant of my own.

Yesterday: unexpected bonding with my cousins Jio and Jules. We had to watch Jules in his school's production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, where he was playing one of Joseph's brothers. We had dinner with our relatives after. Now I never knew my cousin Jules could act OR dance so well. Or that Jio is also having some of the same issues I have as a student involved in campus journalism. I'm so proud of my two cousins and their sis Janina, and I think it's a pity we don't get to meet so often.

Today has been well, interesting. We managed to stall to avoid giving our INTSOCI report, as our visuals are still under construction. I cannot for the life of me get my comparative anatomy lesson in my brain, no matter how hard I try. I am actually scared for tomorrow's test, since it's the most difficult biology test I've taken to date. Of course everyone says that's nothing compared to kitty musculature. Yech.

Oh yes, I still need to get new shoes. I can't believe my favorite pair of flats broke.

To study or not to study, that is the question? I've been spending too much time with some mad characters in my head.

in the morning, things look so strange

After being rudely pulled from my dreams of adventures, revolutions, and literary lovers, I woke up to an ominously gray sky. Of course, the only thing I could think was "Please God, don't let it rain."

Welcome to morning---the cold reality that tends to give dreamers like me a nice visit after a perfectly marvelous day. Still, it's all part of loving life: take the grit with the stardust. After the joy of finishing our survey quickly, the happiness of the YFC meeting and the ultimate Shakespeare geek trip after, what's next? CWTS and realizing I have to go back to the reading center and help fix it. And deal with tardiness, the long trip, the tutorials, the possibility of ruining my shoes, asthma from sanding a shelf, and of course the sun and the hunger.

Still, I like going there to Barangay Banaba: a place caught between the river and the hills, caught between the city and the rural areas. I like talking with friends in a place that is becoming much like home. I enjoy humming songs while imagining the roughness of the wood under my hands growing into something beautiful. I like stopping to play with the children for a little while, remembering that not so long ago I was that carefree too. I sometimes sigh when I see the river, merciless yet playfully laughing at the approach of the weather. I sometimes sit with horror and awe before the shanties, wondering how these can be called homes. And I whisper and hope that the prayers there for a good life are heard by Him as well.

The fact I can make my way to a certain house I know even with my eyes closed is proof enough that I won't be able to tear myself away from this. Ever.

surprise is the best thing at times

I was counting on spending the whole day doing survey work and spending the night watching Hamlet.

TODAY: Survey work was easy. While walking down SJ, I nearly hit a sign saying "YFC Prayer Meeting SJ 107, 1-4 pm, Feb.1". If that wasn't a wake up call, I don't know what is.

So I went to the campus based meeting. It was my first ever. It was the first time I walked into a room of complete strangers and felt at home, as if I was supposed to be there. I realized today how much I missed worship, and how much I am in need of some serious pastoring. I enjoyed the meeting very much, and I'm just glad to be part of a community again.

I got home to learn my sis was watching Hamlet with me and my dad. We ended up also taking along Carla, one of my sis' friends.

Can I just say: I didn't just watch. I was blown away.

Olivier's Hamlet < my class' Hamlet < Gibson's Hamlet < Manahan's Hamlet in REP. That's how I see it.