20 things...

List 20 things you want to say to certain people but you know you never will. Don't say who they are.

1. We really don't agree on many things anymore, but I appreciate how you still hear me out and are always there for me in your own way. Thanks so much for everything.

2. If there was one thing you taught me that will stick in my memory, it was precisely just who not to open my heart to. Thanks for the memories, even if they weren't so great.

3. There's a certain note of yours that I keep, that never fails to make me smile. Even if sometimes it seems that I don't really appreciate your jokes, but really, I do.

4. Maybe it seems as if I am always freaking out, contradicting you, or being a complete pain every school day, but in reality I actually appreciate your being a big brother to me and your telling me to keep praying and waiting. And it's helped me a lot, more than you know.

5. Of all our old ka-households, you were the last one I stopped keeping in touch with. Now you're pretty much thousands of miles away, and I wish I could have talked to you last ILC  just to catch up with you.

6. You tell me that I should stress out less and that more people have worse things to stress out about. I know you're going through a lot and so are a lot of other people, but well, it's not as if you understand completely what I'm going through either. So please don't judge me like that.

7. We never catch each other online, do we? I miss you sooo much, and I wish I could get the entire barkada together again. I hope it won't be years before we do.

8. You still have my copy of Canterbury Tales!!

9. Despite everything that happens to us each day, you're one of my simple joys in life.

10. I really wish I'll always be a good ate to you.

11. Am I being a good sister to you? I know I've had my failings, but I really want to do better because I love you that much.

12. To tell you the truth, I respected your trying to guide me as a writer. But there are just some things that I won't do out of principle. So that's why I left.

13. Maybe there's a reason why you're back in my life. It's going to be an interesting journey for us now that we're in the same household.

14. Age differences aside, you're my ate no matter what.

15. You were right about one thing: there was a lot more in store for me. Did God let you have a good look into the four years that would unfold after that conversation?

16. I don't get you actually. But you're one of the brothers I love very much.

17. I wish I hugged you harder, sis.

18. There are times when I want to say that I'll never understand what you're doing, and that I want no part in it. But I remember you're just as much as an idealist as I am, and that yes, if our places were switched, I'd be just as passionate about my service as you are.

19. Last I heard, you were so different from the girl who I last saw on graduation day. And I like that change. Thanks for showing me that.

20. Bad Timing. Enough said.