He is mighty to save...

I think God is giving me this weekend to sort things out.

Giving me a chance to try other things. To learn of other resources that I could possibly use one day for some good. To go back to one of the places that made me who I am (whether I like it or not), and be a big sister to those I left behind. To have the courage and strength to go back to life as I know it on Tuesday with the resolve to endure and overcome.

To talk to two people (even over IM) who have been helping me deal with matters (Ate Ynah, Ate Issa, thanks so much). To realize that even as a friend and psychologist-in-training, there are really just some things that I cannot handle at this point in time. That it is not easy to love or understand the three people who were the causes of some of my worries over the week (I love you guys so much, that's why I worry, that's why I get hurt, that's why I cry, and more importantly, that's why I'm still there. If only you'd ask).

To realize that maybe I do not have to always be hurt. To realize that more than just licking my wounds, I have to get over the pain and be strong. To understand that as hurt as I may be, there are always two sides to my experiences and that it's love that some people need, and not judgement or censure.

Before I went to sleep last night, the song "Mighty To Save" began to play on my computer. I think it was God's way of talking to me, of telling me that He has this entire situation in His hands. This is my part: to let this go, to surrender everything now to Him. To surrender and be an instrument of His love...in the way He chooses, not necessarily the way all theory dictates. To let God and let go.

Lyrics of "Mighty To Save"

Everyone needs compassion,
Love that's never failing;
Let mercy fall on me.

Everyone needs forgiveness,
The kindness of a Saviour;
The Hope of nations.

Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.

Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

So take me as You find me,
All my fears and failures,
Fill my life again.

I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in,
Now I surrender.

My Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

Shine your light and let the whole world see,
We're singing for the glory of the risen King...Jesus (x2)

My Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave