abandon all I am to have You capture me again...

If a year ago I had been given a glimpse of who I am now, I might have burst out laughing.

I think I know why when I tell stories nowadays, it seems as if life has been split into several parts: my childhood, the first part of high school, then junior year up to some part of last school year, then life as I know it now.

What was I last year? Eighteen and feeling on top of the world. Egotistic. Too cocky and too blind to see what I needed. Too confident in myself. Too humanistic. Still, I remember saying in TREDONE class that I wanted to see God in the everyday. I think I was too caught up in psychology and all kinds of stuff to see properly.

Then God hit me with a door (literally).

It took some time to get the blinders off. Still, even now I am learning so much. It's as if I got some part of my child-like self back. And I feel so secure, so loved. It's an odd feeling, but it's the best. Maybe it's because God has helped me redefine what I consider as "family". Or it's because I allowed myself to finally begin to surrender.

Maybe I'm not going to be the quirky bohemian, Palanca-award winning writer, raging activist, Dean's Lister that I was. But I'd rather be a secure person. I'd rather be happy. I'd rather be a missionary. I'd rather be a sister and a daughter. I'd rather be a follower, that is a follower of God.

May God be praised. God's evening to you all!